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10 Paineful Questions: The domestic torment of Jack Cobra and can short hair be sexy on a woman?

Can Jack Cobra ruin his marriage in a single weekend?  Can short hair be sexy on a woman that isn't built like a brick shithouse?  Have the Buccaneers completely reverted?   

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1.       A two part question to start out this week....First, how much will the Colts miss Tyjuan Hagler? Second, would Marvelous Marvin Hagler play through a biceps injury? I'm leaning towards yes.

I hate to say it, but not that much.  I think everybody is pretty pleased with the way the defense is playing now.  They are playing interesting games.  They seem to be able to pick out what a team does best and then develop around that.  If a team does one thing well, sometimes they let them do it and take everything else away, sometimes they put all their resources into that and take what they do best away.  Long story short, some teams have been able to move the ball against them a bit, but few have been able to score many points.  Keiaho or Wheeler will move in and make a difference.  Maybe they could sign Derrick Brooks cheap.  The Colts are first in points allowed, 7th in pass defence, and middle of the road in stopping the run.  Things are not bad right now.


Marvelous would go, but more importantly, he wouldn't have to.  Marvin Hagler was a real professional.  It kept him healthy his entire career.  Despite a level of success that is perhaps the most underrated in boxing history, Hagler always kept his approach to training on a very level, serious line.  He was known for being a beast on the roadwork and very cerebral in his tactics.  He would do all of his roadwork in army boots instead of jogging shoes and run more than half of it backwards.  His fight with Thomas Hearns is perhaps the greatest title fight of all time.  It was 8 minutes long and there is not a single lull in the fighting.  Hearns actually broke his legendary right hand on the legendary chin of Hagler in the first round.  Hagler continued to go inside on the taller Hearns and punish him with body shots despite a serious cut above his left eye covering his face in blood.  Sweet Science.

2.       With Texans TE Owen Daniels out for the season and WR Andre Johnson hurting on the offensive side of the ball, who should the Colts be worried about on Sunday??

Up until those injuries the Texans were an offense very similar to the Colts statistically.  Without those guys, both of which could have (Johnson still might) make/made the Pro Bowl.  Matt Schaub is still the problem.  He is pretty good at making a read and hangin in to deliver the ball.  He is willing to spread things around and, despite Johnson's numbers early, is not married to one receiver.  He could still be problematic.  He can't be from his back, though.

3.       Last week I said that the 49ers reminded me of the Texans and you said the Texans were the better team. So, after the 49ers gave the Colts all they could handle does A+B = C add up to a Colts loss this week?

No, things are different.  The Colts and the Texans know each other.  The Colts are that hill the Houston franchise is still trying to climb and you can bet the bottom dollar that they have circled the date.  Houston is more mature and more developed offensively than the Niners, and I think a person will see that in this weekend's game.  The Niners' tilt with the Colts stagnated because Manning was off with the deep ball.  If he was a about three feet sharper on passes over 20 yards it would have looked different.  Both teams will be sharp Sunday and it may degenerate into a chess match.  The last few matches have shown signs of really good games.  Still, since Houston lacks league-wide notoriety this will not be a marquee game despite the head-knocker it will be.

4.       Over 300 yards passing but 0 passing TD's for Peyton Manning last week. He's going to be out for blood this week so does he throw more than 4 TD's against the Texans?

Yeah, but last week's performance isn't the real issue.  The proof in the pudding is shown in two other key Houston games.  If you look at their win against Cincy (the Bengals being the most ignored 5-2 team around), you will see that the Bengals went one dimensional in the second half.  So Houston only had to defend one element but, Chad Johnson still put up over 100 yards with a safety on top by breaking routes in and running comebacks against the sideline.  Sound familiar?  Do the Colts have a guy who butters his bread running the intermediate in and the deep comeback?  Indeed they do. 

Another indicator is the Houston game against the Niners.  The Niners threw three TDs to Vernon Davis.  Hosuton simply didn't have a linebacker or a safety that could run with him.  Do the Colts have a tight end with great speed that can run all the routes on a linebacker or a safety?  I think they do.  I know he doesn't look it on TV because the camera angles don't show the depth of the field very well, but Dallas Clark is very, very fast for a guy that thick.  Yes, fast, and I don't mean white-guy fast, I mean fast.

5.       Would you agree that the Texans have the best indoor/outdoor stadium in the NFL with Reliant Stadium?

You know, I spent a bit of time researching this and spoke to a network of architects to nail down a viable answer.  In the end, the answer is, "It might very well be."  Populus, the company that used to be HOK Sport, the architects for Reliant and the Cardinal's venue, have a habit of getting into the forefront of the stadium world.  These new stadiums have a lot of neat things they can claim.  From a design standpoint, I am told that Lucas Oil fist its site aesthetic the best, and has visual appeals like the center-peaked gabled roof which is apparently interesting because designing it meant the roof panels would be exceptionally heavy but would provide the largest roof opening in the world.  The two large trusses are visually appealing as well but the stadium, over all, does not watch a game as well as it looks.  The Cowboy's stadium is ginormous, and the exterior continuations of the arch trusses is nice to look at and drawing positive attention from architecture critics, but it is being billed in those circles as being a bit of a copy of Reliant in terms of the transparent sides and the roof is a copy of the lateral system other stadiums use.  Personally I think it is the best looking on the inside but HQ says it is copied off of a couple of soccer pitches in Germany.  It is tough to call, though, the architecture business is a trend oriented thing and copying someone else is pretty par for the course.  I don't really call that a negative if they are copying something that works well.  I also hear that it does not have a positive site aesthetic.  People love the visuals of the Cardinal's stadium, and the roll out grass, but they hate the site and the color scheme on the inside.  In the end, Reliant stands up favorably.  It was the one of the first to have the retractable roof.  It uses natural grass.  It sees way more use than a lot of stadiums, hosting rodeos, bowl games, soccer and whatnot.  Old Man Paine claims it is a great watching stadium having been to a bowl game there.  It is also one of the cheaper "new" stadiums in the league.  In the end, it was more "original" than the competitors and has a lot going its way.  I haven't been to them all, so I can't make any clear claims.  The jury is still out on the long term likeability of Lucas Oil and Cowboys Stadium with Lucas Oil being liked but not loved and Cowboys being either loved or hated, so Reliant may be the best one of the bunch.     

6.       Dallas and New Orleans seem to be having a lot of success playing in an offense that doesn't rely on one WR to make the majority of the catches. Will this even-ish distribution of catches escalate into a situation similar to the two good RB strategy that teams now implement?

I am unwilling to say that it will result in a two back league but it will result in smart offense.  If you pass to the guy that is open you will be a better team than you will passing exclusively to the guy that is getting paid the most.  It is easy to say that given the recent history in Dallas and the performance of Mike Bell and Pierre Thomas in new Orleans.  I think it is EASIER to say that if you invest in the right quarterback you can save yourself a lot of trouble at other positions.  If you have a Drew Brees you don't need to find the next Randy Moss or Adrian Peterson.  You don't need to waste money on a kick returner like Reggie Bush like NO is now finding out.  If the Cowboys or San Diego or Chicago had kept or signed Drew Brees they would have a championship under their belt and the Saints would be in LA. 

7.       Tampa Bay is the only winless team left and they have Green Bay coming into town this weekend....what are the chances that they break into the win column?

Yeah, I think there is a chance.  I realize Harvin is a tough matchup.  The Old Man says he is the closest thing to Gail Sayers he has seen in while, Reggie bush included, but I won't go into all that.  Still, Green Bay is a top 10 defense.  I think they would be a top 5 defense if they went 4-3, but they are still good.  Minnesota is the better team, though.  Jared Allen is great, AP is amazing, Harvin is unreal.  GB should have been better and they weren't, with Chicago improving a bit I think the Pack is on tilt with their only quality win being the opener against the Bears.  With the Bears improving, I think the Pack is wilting.  The kicker, though, is that I don't think TB has many wins in their future.  I am unclear how they are directing this team now that almost all of the Dungy era people and players are gone.  I can't see what kind of program they are putting together or what kind of concept they are trying to establish on the field.  I think it is entirely plausible for them to completely return to the crappy Bucs of old and soon.  They may not win ten games in the next 3 years.    

8.       Who is the best player in the NFL this season that people aren't talking about?

Easy, Darren Sharper S, New Orleans.  At 34 (that is 137 in NFL years) and a 13 year veteran, he leads the league in picks with 7.  His pick against Atlanta was a late game prayer job but his pick-6 against Miami changed the game at the top of the second half.  With the Saints coming out of the locker room down 24-10 and Miami getting the ball, Shaper picked one off that made it 24-17 Miami and completely put New Orleans back in the game.  When the upstart Jets faced off with the Saints, Sharper shut them down with 9 tackles and 2 picks, one a 99 yard to the house.  The Saints needed a veteran to lead their defense.  They got the right the guy.   

9.       Who makes worse decisions......Jay Cutler or Brenda Warner's hair stylist circa 2001?

Well shit, Jack, I don't remember anybody pissing eurythmics.jpgand moaning in the 80s when chicks like Brigitte Nielsen or Grace Jones went butch with their hair..........of course, that was the 80s and Brigitte Nielsen and Grace Jones are scary as all get out.  Okay, good point.  Look, I have always kinda had a thing for Annie Lennox.  Something about Dave Stewart makes me want to break his fucking nose, though.  And even though I prefer long hair, HQ having a luxurious head of hair, I am not going to throw stones at Brenda Warner for the hair.  I think the internet has covered that.  They also gave her tons of shit for being religious.  That isn't my bag either but I don't want to bandwagon.  In the end, the worst of her is a bad hair style and an unnecessary attempt to defend her husband against people who have an unbelievably large bully pulpit.  Hell, she hasn't shot him and that is more than I can say for....you know the Bears could always run more.

10.   On Sunday I can either go to the Museum of Science & Industry (http://www.msichicago.org/)  for free ($26 value counting Wife) or watch the Bears play the Cardinals and then the Chargers vs. Giants. Which will make for a better Sunday?

Arizona doesn't lose on the road.  The Chargers and Giants are both disappointments with the G-Men getting knocked around by Philly and the Chargers barely able to beat the Raiders.  The Mof SI has all of the model ships and trains, a real U Boat, and an interesting exhibit in green home design that I would like to see.  Catch the museum with Goldilocks and DVR the games.  Get an early jump on the museum, grab a bite on the town, get home in the late afternoon and climb into some sweatpants and commercial-skipping football.  You know what?  Now that I think about it.  Take the weekend off and watch football.  I realize you guys need your "get out and be a married couple" time, but there is no way going over to the museum for a day is not going to cost you some moneys even if the museum is a free day.  Save the moneys, get your tender loving wife time on by taking her to a late breakfast and not being a jackass for an hour.  I bet that will be well received.  


Cobra said

Marvelous Marvin Hagler....vastly underrated and still holds such a grudge that he refuses to do interviews. That, my friends, is a man that you want your son(s) to be like!

I don't have a DVR as I don't like to allow myself to watch more tv than I already do. I think she has forgotten about the M of S&I so I'll be treading lightly around the subject all weekend.

The GM said

A couple things:

Steve Slaton was benched last week for fumbling. Any word on whether he is starting this week or not? If he doesn't, that is two big weapons out for Houston, with Andre Johnson nicked up.

Two women who I think are awesome in short(er) hair:

Meg Ryan and Posh Spice (Becks' wife)

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