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Jun
11
2009

Cobra Crackdown - I Made A Little Girl Cry and Blogger vs. Ibanez Stuff

http://www.cobrabrigade.com/assets_c/2009/06/girl.crying-thumb-250x379-10155.jpg(Still open to suggestions on the title of this weekly endeavor. I guess maybe these will be on Thursday's now?)

Well, it finally happened yesterday....I got to the end of my rope and I couldn't hang on any longer. I made a little girl cry in my neighborhood. Here's the thing, I love kids. I think they can infuse energy into just about anyone. If you don't believe that, look at the faces of grandparents when their grandchildren enter the room. When I was in college I worked as a Summer day camp counselor for two years and also for one Winter as afternoon help. I loved being around the kids and it was the best job I've ever had. Let me say that again, it was the best job I've ever had. Not because of the awesome field trips, not because of my hot female co-workers, not because I was essentially making money while getting a tan. Ok, maybe those were all good reasons but it was mostly because of the kids.

What made me go off the deep end yesterday to the point of making a little girl cry.....as always, keep reading to find out about that and various sports stuff.


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http://www.cobrabrigade.com/img/kidsthrowingrocks.jpgYesterday evening TLD and I were coming home from the tasting for our wedding, which was awesome, and as soon as we turn into our cul-de-sac the little kids scattered like cockroaches when the lights turn on. This really isn't out of the ordinary as they fear all grown-ups but they had no idea about the wrath that was about to unfold as I saw rocks from around my trees thrown all over our sidewalk and in the street in front of our home. This, I could take no more.

Last Summer, TLD and I spent about seven hours one day fixing up our yard after it had become tattered after the previous homeowners moved out. I hate yardwork but I hate it even more when my yard looks bad. Commence beatdown.

A little over a month ago I looked out the front window of my house and saw this same group of kids throwing our rocks all over the street and hanging on our trees like a band of monkeys while breaking branch after branch. I was pissed but instead of rushing out there to yell at them I decided to wait a day and then take a roundabout approach to letting them know this was unacceptable. This was my first mistake. I knew they had done it and I should have called them out on it but instead I played dumb and told them that if they knew who messed up the rocks; to please tell them to stop doing that. The kids put the rocks back and, even though they asked me for a dollar for their troubles, things seemed fine. I slept just fine that night.

Yesterday though, I could take no more. As soon as we pulled into our garage I hopped out of the car like one of the Duke boys and yelled, "Jenny!!!" (not her real name) I didn't know who's name that was but I knew that I had heard the kids screaming it all Spring. I figured she was either the ring leader or, at the very least, the girl who would convey the message to the other kids. This little girl walks over and I proceed to ask her if she knew who had messed up the rocks. She said she didn't. I didn't accept that answer. I then explained to her in an adult voice, but without using profanities, that I knew who had made a mess in my front yard, how that was the second time that happened and how there wouldn't be a third time. I could see the tears begin to make an appearance. I continued to explain to her how this was unacceptable behavior and it would not be tolerated. A single tear ran down her cheek. I then explained to her how we all lived in this neighborhood and why it was important to keep it looking clean. The waterworks began. I then asked her again if she knew who threw the rocks into the road.....She then accepted blame for what she, and her friends, did. I stood there like a chain gang boss watching as the group of kids cleaned up the rocks and sticks in my yard and in the street. I felt vindicated. I was certain that parents would show up at my front door last night to discuss the situation but no one did. Chalk one up for Cobra......and humanity. It starts with throwing rocks in the street and ends with throwing rocks at cars/houses/elderely people.

Onto the sports world!

- Blogger vs. Raul Ibanez - For those who don't want to follow the links here is a brief rundown. A blogger has Raul Ibanez in his fantasy league and one of his rivals made a remark that Ibanez needs to be tested for PED's, which is standard rapport in a fantasy league. Since the dude runs a website he decided to do some investigative journalism of his own and found that there didn't seem to be any ballpark/pitcher/etc. factors that would lead to Ibanez having such a year that is a statistical outlier of his previous years. Thus, he was left to wonder, not to state, if Ibanez was using PED's. This post caught on fire and made its way to Ibanez who absolutely refuted everything the guy wrote and he volunteered to submit to any/all testing available. In my opinion, this is what good sportswriters USED to do and this is what good bloggers do now. They see something that doesn't make sense, they investigate it and come to their own conclusion. Period. End of sentence. 'Real sportswriters' should be ashamed that they didn't do this ten years ago and 'real bloggers' should realize that this is how work should be done. Here is the original post and a follow up by Joe Posnaski of CNNSI.com.

This is the era that we are in now with baseball and baseball has no one to blame but itself. The players are using and, depending on what your opinion is, the owners/managers/etc. are the people that have let them use or rewarded them for production while using. They need to realize that they will be criticized and scrutinized whenever something seems out of the ordinary. It comes with the territory. Every player is now guilty by association. What does Paine say about the Government fearing the people? That works here, too. 

Now, whether Ibanez is using or not....no one knows. If he's willing to take the tests, then let's get him in the doctor's office ASAP and set a precedent. We've had athletes say they are willing to take these tests in the past but they have yet to do so. I say step up or shut up to Ibanez because I'm certain this won't be the last time this happens.

******I also must note that Brian from Depressed Fan ran a series on players who possibly used PED's in the past few seasons based on their statistics. I didn't agree with all of them but it was interesting. I'm too lazy to find the exact link to all of his hard work but maybe if he shows up in the comments section he'll give us the links. Boom! Just like clockwork, Brian comes through with the links (Part 1 and Part 2). If you look at his list in Part 1 it's a "who's who's" list of accused steroid users minus D-Lee, Jeter and Chipper Jones.  

- Crosstown Rivalry - By the time I get around to writing my next Crackdown the White Sox will have invaded Wrigley and allowed the Cubs to win at least two out of three. Baseball in Chicago isn't good this Summer so we'll take all the wins we can get. I was reminded yesterday that it took God less time to make the Earth than it took Sox uber-prospect Gordon Beckham to get his first major league hit. Both parties received standing ovations for their accomplishments.

- NBA Draft - Rubio to the Knicks? Mike Davis out as the Cleveland coach? Will the Bulls re-sign Ben Gordon? You guys don't care, I've looked at the site statistics and they scream 'no basketball, please!" 

- NFL OTA's - Soon enough the NFL will be a year round sport.....if it's not already. For fans, especially non-rabid one's, I think the OTA's are a waste of time but they can be beneficial to players learning new systems. Come watch me during my first day at a new job and tell me if that's exciting. It is not.

- Boxing - I need a heavyweight contender that's going to force me to put down my fork while eating dinner. I need him to be from the United States and I need him to knock people out cold. Am I asking for too much? I don't get into the MMA stuff at all so don't recommend that I watch that.

- Cleat Searching - Bruce Paine is looking for new softball cleats, will someone help him out, please?

- Cobra Brigade Stock - Remember that stock that we bought like 18 months ago?? Well, it's up about 145% and we're taking that money straight to the roulette table at the local casino. Smart fiscal strategy? No. Is that going to be a post in itself? You're damn right it will be. I might even live blog it.

- Jordi Scrubbings - Two things I found out this week after a Facebook friend add that blew my mind....Jordi Scrubbings is not his real name and that he's actually a white dude.

Enjoy your weekend, get out and enjoy the weather. Go ride a bike or fly a kite, I don't care as long as you aren't messing up my yard.

9 Comments
Cobra said

I apologize to those of you who read this when it first came out. I accidentally hit the publish button before I was completed with my work. Still trying to find my way around.

mcbias said

I actually met Jordi in Florida, and I too was shocked to learn his name really wasn't Jordi Scrubbings. And I feel like such an idiot re-reading that stocks post--I put my money in emerging markets, and, well...not a good choice, let's put it that way.

A salesman just came to my office accompanied by a pretty girl for what seemed to be no reason at all. I highly recommend other salespeople begin this trend ASAP.

Brian said

Here's that link. You still have Derrek Lee blinders on. :)

Cobra said

McBias - you travel the world meeting bloggers.....I have what I like to call "The Bullpen" behind where I sit. It is where all the hot saleswomen sit. It's a nice diversion to this crummy weather.

Brian - Thanks, I put the links up in the post! You were a man before his time.

Cobra said

Also, I kid you not about the roulette table. It's happening in the days before my wedding. I actually might put up a post leading up to that about the gambling binge Cpt. Morgan and I went on when we were in college.

The GM said

Seriously, making a kid cry is about as invigorating as breaking someone's ankle getting to the hoop and dropping a sweet dime to someone after they have called you Teddy Dupay and John Stockton and Scott Skiles all night long.

It is the ultimate IN YOUR FACE. You got the message across loud and clear and I'm sure there won't be a repeat. Though, there will probably be some sort of vandalism coming to a house near you soon.

Jordi said

Wait, you mean there is someone on facebook claiming to be me? WTF?

Jordi said

Oh, and who is this Jack Cobra guy, and since when does he write for a blog?

Cobra said

Who knows, he just showed up one day.


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