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Playmates, Celebrities, Derby, Free Booze = So Jealous!!!

playmates.jpgWhile reading/weeping through Jack's farewell warning post and comments earlier I noticed that MCBias mentioned the classic Cougar posts (1, 2). Well, no news to report here. Last time I talked to the cougar was four or five months ago and she had a new live in boyfriend so that's that. However, I've now moved onto bigger and better things......Playboy Playmates. Follow after the jump and let me digress....

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A couple of college buddies and myself came up with the groovy idea a month or so ago that we should attend either the Kentucky Oaks or the Kentucky Derby. We had discussed some type of get together and this seemed like a prime time to accomplish the task. This was to be a bit of a reunion since we all hadn't hung out in awhile even though we all live within two hours of each other. We finally decided that the Oaks was the way to go since it fit our schedule's better. We had gambling and drinking planned during the day and more drinking out at the 4th Street Live area of Louisville later that night.

Somehow we started the day off taking these Twistee shots outside of the liquor store around 11 AM. Yes.....this action would seem to point some sort of alcoholic tendencies. The shots were actually pretty good and kicked off what was sure to be a great day. Next, we were off to Churchill Downs where you get hounded for parking like a crack addict looking to score in Queens. The day was looking beautiful, the ladies in their hats were looking beautiful and the Mint Juleps were looking downright delectable. Gambling, gawking, drinking, and puzzlement took place over the next few hours. The puzzlement came from trying to understand the damn horse racing programs and what not. I took the betting stance of taking the horse with the coolest name and concurrently the second or third best odds to show. The Exacta box also made an appearance a few times throughout the day for me personally. Hell, I've only been to the race track a few times and don't know what I'm doing, but it still led to me winning in about half the races. These results fared much better than one of my buddies who was down $400 before we knew. The good day became gloomy and the Gods rained down from the heavens to make everyone rush under the grandstand. The rest of the afternoon was spent in this location watching the races on 13 inch TVs above the betting windows. It was depressing, yet still invigorating to watch the race on a TV when you knew they were actually happening just 200 yards from where you were standing. Finally, we had enough and hit up the never ending cab line.

Next we picked up another friend and it was off to Caesar's to win back some of my one buddies lost $400. After a couple, three hours he had successfully won back all of his cash and then some. Then the night began to get interesting.

aj.jpgI have left out a little tidbit....actually the most important point in the night and in the story. Earlier I had said we were planning on heading to 4th Street, but I was lying to you all. I'm sorry but it had to be done. A few weeks ago when the May issue of Playboy came out I noticed that the centerfold was a young lady named AJ Alexander. Ms. Alexander happened to from Evansville, IN and is around my age. Therefore, I assumed that one of my friends would know the saucy vixen. Turns out.....one of my friends is dating her! Sooooo, once our little group learned this little trinket of information and learned that there would be a Playboy party in Louisville on Friday night our game faces were on. Luckily, my buddy who lost and then won back all of his money is really good friends with the Playmates boyfriend and has actually hung out with her a couple of times. The luck eh?  We ended up calling AJ while we were at the Oaks to see what was going on and what the possibility of us getting into the party was. She wasn't real positive that we could make it in, but thought there was a chance.

Therefore, after the little stint at the casino we obviously decided to head to the Crown Royal Playboy Lounge at the Mellwood Arts Center. We pull up to the Arts Center all pretty convinced that we will not get into the party. Our friend who joined us late was so sure that he decided not to leave the vehicle, seeing that we would surely be back in about 5 minutes. The original three of us laughed off his shrewd mistake and headed up to the party. On our way we were given a nice playboy umbrella to shield us from the harsh sprinkling rain. Up some stairs and to the right and we were at our Mecca. To the left a purple runway stood out in all its glory for this celebrity and that to take a walk while getting pictures taken. To the right were hot "nobody" girls. Straight ahead were a few playmates in all their utter glory and sexy bunny outfits. We all stood there shell shocked for a good 5 minutes just taking in the scene. Finally we woke up out of our stupor and realized how unlikely it would be that we would get to enter this Utopia, this Valhalla, this Mecca.

Then out of nowhere to our left we suddenly heard a ruckus. This was no ordinary ruckus, this was superstar ruckus and it was well waranted. We turned towards the commotion and lo and behold none other than Michael Jordan strode through with an entourage 20 deep no further than 10 feet from us. Our jaws dropped, our hopes, dropped, but our spirits rode high. I usually don't get to star struck, but it's not everyday that you see Michael Jordan.....seriously. That moment passed and then we realized just how dire our situation was. We were about to admit defeat, turn around and head back to the car and then out of nowhere the wonder AJ Alexander walks out of the party to where we were at the entrance. We got her attention and did a quick wink, wink, nudge, nudge and we were in. On our way through security we called our poor buddy and told him of our good fortune and bid him a good night. There was no hope for him to make it in, better to cut him loose right away.

michelle.jpgUpon entering heaven the party everything seemed right with the world. I mean everything. I was Zen, I was centered, I was in my element. More good news was soon on its way as we headed to the bar to learn that Crown Royal and Red Stripe was on the house. This of course lead to me carrying around two Crown and Ginger Ale's the entire night. After securing beverages we made our way back to AJ and her "friends". Among her friends was Michelle McLaughlin, or as you may know her February 2008 Playboy Playmate. (Note: I haven't included any NSFW links here, but let's be honest...you all know how to find what you want). From what I've been told by my friends I was putting my best foot forward with Ms McLaughlin. My game was on display and the Mac skill was at full throttle. Of course, she was working the party and could not indulge in her lust towards me, but on any regular night it was in the bag (excuse me while I re-read that last sentence and laugh out loud). We spoke a good 30 or so minutes and I butted in on a lot of pictures until she had to return to working the party and had to hang out with what some may call "celebrities". I will always remember my time with Michelle. Yes I will.

hefner.jpegSpeaking of celebrities..... Hugh Hefner had his own little VIP with his three girlfriends. I got a nice little blurry snapshot with my camera. It looks like it was taken by a drunk man.....which it was, but here it is for you all to take a look at. As I said earlier, Michael Jordan was at the party and I actually gave him the old "What's up Mike?" and a pat on the shoulder as he walked right by me. He didn't pay attention to me, but it didn't hurt my feelings. There were quite a few other celebrities there including Randy Moss, D-Wade, Gabrielle Union, Vince Young, etc. They were mostly holed up in the VIP area having a good time, but a couple came out and mingled with the common folk.

There's not a whole lot more to say. I lost my friends many times and just wandered around talking to people. There was a barber there and I was 5 seconds from going up and asking for a trim. I saw more beautiful women than I could count, 12 of which were playmates. We ended up leaving the party as it wound down. It must of been around 4:30 AM when we headed out. We hailed a cab after a large effort and paid the small fare of $70 to get back to my buddies house. It would have been nice to have our other friend around to drive us home, but the $70 was a small sum to pay for one of the coolest nights of your life.

So....once again I didn't score, but I would bargain to say that this night was still a definite winner. Pictures from AJ are supposedly on the way and as long as they get here by June, I will let you all see them. The only negative from the night is that I'm not sure if I will ever be able to enjoy a normal party again. Playboy parties is how I roll now bitches!

Bruce Paine said

I hate you. I freaking hate you. I hate the way you always showed up to play basketball smelling like vodka. I hate the way you played second base that one time. I hate the way you smile and the way you start leaning sideways when you get drunk. I hate everything about you. You are a GOD to me.

Buck Rampage replied to Bruce Paine's comment

I gotta agree with you on the 2nd base deal. That was horrendous and I was embarrassed.

But, if I could go to more Playboy parties I would play like that every game.

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