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 In an effort to write something that people don't A) take too seriously and B) get livid about...you get this. Enjoy.
My Grandfather likes to go grocery shopping and sometimes when he goes, he'll pick something up for me. I don't ask him to, I don't know why he does it, but sometimes when I go home to visit my parents he will have left a grocery bag or two at their house for me. In the past I've received some of the following.....Prune juice, Apple juice, Nutty Bars, Oranges, Oatmeal Cream Pies, Tomato sauce and Macaroni and Cheese. Some of these things, I toss almost immediately after receiving them because while It's really nice of him to take the initiative to purchase these items, and I appreciate it, some of the items....I don't even like.
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Since I've been 'on my own' I've probably received 40 boxes of Macaroni
and Cheese from him. Like most people, I like Mac and Cheese but you
can only eat so much of it. I think when I first moved to Bloomington I
had Mac and Cheese like once a week and that was mostly just so I could get
the boxes off my shelf. Unfortunately, over the past two years my Mac
and Cheese consumption has dwindled even more. I think I might have had
one box in 2006 and one box in 2007.....leaving me with quite an inventory.
That one box in 2007
happened Monday and will never be forgotten. I had just got off the
phone with my Mom on Monday and she was telling me all about my
Grandfather and some health issues he was having. I worry about the guy
because he lives on his own and all that, but for some reason my mind
shifted to all the Mac and Cheese he has bought me over the years. Next
thing I know, I'm opening up my cupboard and staring at eight boxes of
it sitting on the shelf behind 14 other things. I snatch out a box,
wipe off the dust and read the instructions to make sure I have the
ingredients. Water. Check. Milk. Check. Butter. Check. I'm good to go.
I turn the box to check out the nutritional info on it, just to see how
bad it is for me, and I see the words, Best If Used By
October......2006.
For some reason, this didn't deter me. I
opened up the box and check out the macaroni. It looked OK. I mean, can
macaroni really go bad? Isn't that why macaroni is one of the main
things that homeless shelters ask for? I then checked the 'cheese' or
'orange powder', whichever you prefer. It passed the 'sniff test'. I
felt that I had the green light to eat. I began to boil the water and
then I remembered.......I don't always make the best decisions.
So, I called The Lovely Dentist to get her opinion. Two heads are
better than one, right? She's going to be a Dentist in May, she's
always telling me what I should be eating.....she would certainly know
better than me.
I'm on the phone with TLD, who is at her
parents, and not only does she give me the go-ahead for eating it, so
does her Dad. That's two ringing endorsements in my mind. On top of
that, my own Father always told me that expiration dates were just
'suggestions'.....So, I ended the conversation with TLD thankful that I
have such a helpful girlfriend and I commenced the making of Mac and
Cheese.
The meal was....well, it was Mac and Cheese, what do you
expect. It is what it is. I finished the meal and felt pretty good
about myself......That is until I was awakened at 2:30 on Tuesday
morning with the feeling that someone was kicking, punching and biting
me in the stomach, all at the same time. I was in total agony. I truly
believe that I now know what it feels like when women have contractions
when pregnant. I slid out of bed and crawled, yes crawled, to my
bathroom. I'm not going to give you the details, but two hours
later......I either blacked out or somehow crawled back into bed
without knowing it. This continued about every 90 minutes until 10 am.
Not good times. Obviously I skipped both work and blogging yesterday
because of it.
Point of the story....it's a good idea to follow
the advice of expiration dates. If you don't, you could be in for a
world of hurt.
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10 Comments
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"In an effort to write something that people A) don't take too seriously and B) get livid about...you get this. Enjoy."--I hear you. It's too close to Christmas to be fighting Blog War 5. Good warning; I actually have a few older boxes I need to toss, now that I think of it.
Well I wouldn't know anything about not pissing people off, but excepting that - I would have given you the OK the eat the mac and cheese too. Who knew that stuff could go bad? Thanks for being our little lab rat jack!
I was afraid to eat on Tuesday and just had my first meal since the 'incident' this afternoon.
I think the next torture technique the CIA uses should include expired mac and cheese.
Prune Juice huh?
Maybe that kid you played ball with on Saturday and your Grandpa are trying to tell you something.
Sidenote - don't eat bananas before playing ball. I couldn't get that smell out of my nose for the rest of the night!
I don't know man, it's hard to say. It might have been a deal where like you buy one/get one free and he bought some for himself. I don't know. I'm the last person who would drink that stuff.
I'm eating Mac n Cheese w/ last month's date on it now... somehow I don't feel hungry anymore. Thanks for the warning.
i have prune juice thats in a plastic bottle tightley closed in my fridge and its expiration date is sep.13,2008 i need to know if i can still drink it ?
if any one has a answer i can sure use it right about now
You can, the only thing you might fear would be the sugar in the juice fermenting and becoming prune wine. Even if that is the case, you still stand to reap the benefits.
I just googled for "does mac and cheese expire?" and this came up. I am sitting here debating if I should eat a box of mac and cheese that expired a year go. I was planning to eat it... and oddly enough I'll also be a dentist in a few months. Based on this, I won't. LOL. Thanks!