So you are sitting on the bench minding your own business after your coach has pulled you from the game. Maybe you are watching the game, trying to figure out how the other team is being so successful and what you can do to change that. Maybe you are watching the cheerleaders perform their routines. Maybe you are checking out the hot blonde in the second row in the hopes that you'll make eye contact with her so you can send the ballboy over to get her number.....and then Jack Nicholson walks up behind you and says, "Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?" Yeah, not good. Anyways, give me your thoughts on what you think Jack just said to Kenyon Martin and/or what celebrity you wouldn't want sneaking up and talking to you in this situation.
Hey Melo, party at my place tonight. The NBA doesn't test you guys for coke, do they?
Anonymous
said
In my best Colonel Jessep:
You have no idea how to defend the post. All you did was weaken the nuggets today, Anthony. That's all you did. You put people's lives in danger. Sweet dreams, son.
or something a little saltier...
There is nothing on this earth sexier, believe me, Carmelo, than a woman referee. Promote 'em all, I say, 'cause this is true: if you haven't gotten a blow*** from a female referee, well, you're just letting the best in life pass you by.
I think this is what would scare me about Hepburn....
Hepburn was born in Hartford, Connecticut, to Dr. Thomas Norval Hepburn, a successful urologist from Virginia, and Katharine Martha Houghton. In a time when sexual matters weren't discussed, Hepburn's father was a staunch proponent of publicizing the dangers of venereal disease. Hepburn's mother took young Katharine to a suffrage rally and co-founded Planned Parenthood with birth control advocate Margaret Sanger. During adult familial conversation the Hepburn children were never asked to leave the room, shaping them to be outspoken about social and political issues. The Hepburn children, at their parents' encouragement, were unafraid of expressing frank views on various topics, including sex. "We were snubbed by everyone, but we grew quite to enjoy that," Hepburn later said of her unabashedly liberal family, who she credited with giving her a sense of adventure and independence.
2008 Cubs Preview
Network Partner
Hey Melo, party at my place tonight. The NBA doesn't test you guys for coke, do they?
In my best Colonel Jessep:
You have no idea how to defend the post. All you did was weaken the nuggets today, Anthony. That's all you did. You put people's lives in danger. Sweet dreams, son.
or something a little saltier...
There is nothing on this earth sexier, believe me, Carmelo, than a woman referee. Promote 'em all, I say, 'cause this is true: if you haven't gotten a blow*** from a female referee, well, you're just letting the best in life pass you by.
Wow, now that was good stuff
"Hey Kenyon, let's see how many morons can't tell you apart from Carmelo Anthony."
Damnit, you made me double check, but yep...that's Kenyon
"my boys have taken out more knee caps than microfracture surgery. don't f*** up and try to win this game, buddy."
and i think i'd be terrified if willem dafoe snuck up on me like that.
Jack: Carmelo, you ready to party?
Kenyon: My name is Kenyon.
Jack: Ok, Carmelo, lets go. I got Lara Flynn for me and you can have Dyan Cannon.
Kenyon: I said my name is Kenyon and that lady is like 90 years old.
Jack: yeah, whatever, Carmelo or Kenyon, do you want to get laid or what?
Who would frighten me?
Rosie O'Donnell
Regis Philbin
Howie Mandel
Fuck... just about all of them.
How about Robin Williams? That dude scares me.
Jack: I just can't quit you...
Scarier than jack: Jake Gillenhall, Heath Ledger, Rosie O Donnel.
Jack: You've got really nice pecs, what kind of HGH do you use? Mind if I rub in some "clear" on your chest after the game? Do you like my glasses?
Kenyon: Who is this old white guy touching me? SECURITY!
Scarier than Jack: Subway Jared, Chris Kaman, Mickey Rourke, and Katherine Hepburn
jack: "hey, you know that '2 girls 1 cup' video? i totally turned them on to that."
kenyon: "man that's disgust... did you really?"
Katherine Hepburn?? Ok, ok...I'm going to need an explanation on that one.
here you go:
http://lotusinstitute.com/hepburn.jpg
Plus, if you've heard her talk, it reminds me of fingernails scratching the chalk board.
Scarier than Jack? Chris Kaman.
I think this is what would scare me about Hepburn....
Hepburn was born in Hartford, Connecticut, to Dr. Thomas Norval Hepburn, a successful urologist from Virginia, and Katharine Martha Houghton. In a time when sexual matters weren't discussed, Hepburn's father was a staunch proponent of publicizing the dangers of venereal disease. Hepburn's mother took young Katharine to a suffrage rally and co-founded Planned Parenthood with birth control advocate Margaret Sanger. During adult familial conversation the Hepburn children were never asked to leave the room, shaping them to be outspoken about social and political issues. The Hepburn children, at their parents' encouragement, were unafraid of expressing frank views on various topics, including sex. "We were snubbed by everyone, but we grew quite to enjoy that," Hepburn later said of her unabashedly liberal family, who she credited with giving her a sense of adventure and independence.
Sexually adventurous?
I saw a sign in the high school gym that I had a game in the other night: "Fight VD with soap and water"
Now I know who to thank for that....
"You know, Martin, I've got better knees than you and I'm 70 goddamn years old."
The Lakers?
YOU CANT HANDLE THE LAKERS!
Funny, the thing that scares you about Hepburn, Jack, is something that just makes me like her even more.
Sorry to be a whiner, but can you (1) remove the Price above Bip Roberts link and (2) fix the truehoop link (no dot between my and espn)? Thankee!
Hepburn was a sweet looking broad in her day, I would have done her. Old Paine likes a strong willed woman.