|
|
Some people call it a sport, some a spectale, and some just call it plan crazy. I like to call it pure entertainment. This entertainment that I speak of is known as the Red Bull Soapbox Race. Since showing its face in 1998, the soapbox race has become ever more popular, and completely outrageous. Over the weekend, Red Bull and its 61 teams competed in what I can only describe as manpowered mayhem down the steepest hill in Providence, RI. Eager for craziness, stupidity, and the ever pesent crash, I ventured to this hill, and embraced the Red Bull Soapbox.
Scroll Down to Continue Reading
|
|
 For those that have not been to Providence, I would say that Providence is very similar to Bloomington, IN. For those that have not been to Bloomington, then you need to get out more...Providence has old homes, old money, the mob, and on the eastside of town, some pretty extensive hills. Nestled in the heart of Brown University and the Rhode Island School of Design, Watermann Street is a 500 meter long hill with an incline that would make Lance Armstrong's leg burn. If it were covered in snow, I would peg it as the double black diamond of East Providence. Lined with haybails this was the site of the race.
The ramp at the beginning of the race heads down about 25 meters, hangs a 90 degree right-hand turn past the judges booth. At this point, the decent begins, for about 200 meters the soapbox's have a straight shot to gain speed, my guess is that they are hitting about 25 miles per hour here. The first "S" curve comes into play here, followed by about 25 meters of hill, then another "S" curve. If they make it through the second "S" curve is straight down to the finish.
The race was scheduled to start at 1:00 pm. I was expecting a crowd, so I arrived at about 11:30am...it was a good thing too. There was quite an audience gathering, and I definitely wanted to try and stake a prime spot along the course for a crash. I was there early enough however to walk up to the "pits" and snap a few photos of some of the teams. Now being my first soapbox race, I was expecting some strangeness, but I must admit, I was completely blown away by some of the characters. Most of the teams were made up of college kids, but there were also some that were contained some middle-aged men and women, and the occasional insane child molester. How or why the police were not checking finger prints on some of these people were beyond me...?
With free Red Bull being passed out, and the starting time close, I was anxious to see what type of crashes were going to take place. The opening cerimonies consisted of 2 guys leaping out of an airplane high above Providence, and landing near the finish line. I'm not sure how many people have gotten to witness someone floating down on a parachute, but for me this was a first, and I actually got a little scared seeing just how fast they are coming in!
 Alright, opening cermonies are over, the judges were introduced (Miss Rhode Island, Miss Teen Rhode Island, some rapper that I can't remember his name, and I think the mayor judging on creativity, showmanship, and speed), and it is go time. I have excellent realestate right at about the 200 meter mark, just before the first "S" curve, and my camera is ready!
 As I watch 3 teams fly by me, and two of them crash, I am pumped to think that this is just the beginning...it looks like a day of broken limbs, road rash, and concussions...unfortunately, or fortunately, the drivers were good and their cars held their own...the rest of the day was not littered with wreckage like I had hoped.
 Some of my favorite cars included the "Canadian Beaver", "Deuce's Wild" (which as a car made of a bathtub and toilet right next to it, and a driver sitting on the john, and one in the tub), "What Grassy Knoll", "Rockbiter Lives", "Slumberbusters", "Timmy the Turtle", and "Moustache Motors." Anytime that you can incorporate shit humor, 80's movies, and/or a moustache on a soapbox, then it gets a plus from me!
Braving the crowds, trying to land the perfect spot, and experience complete oddities was a great way to spend my Saturday. I definitely recommend checking out the Red Bull Soapbox Race if it is near you. It is excellent for people watching, and perfect for reliving your college days of little responsibility and ignorant bliss. I was positively entertained throughout the day, and I am half tempted to bring in a Cobra Brigade team next year!
cptmorg@gmail.com
|
7 Comments
|
|
|
2008 Cubs Preview
That looks like a lot more fun than the annual "Outhouse Race" back in my home town.
You should have done a 'shooter' on the chick with the penis costume on.
Hey, I know Providence! The Greek Professor got his Ph.D at Brown. Indeed, he lived on top of that hill for many years, staring down at the central part of the city. And it is a huge freaking hill. With ancient apartments.
Is Buddy still the mayor there? Little known fact: Mayor Buddy is the basis of Mayor Quimby on the Simpsons (yes, he's been mayor of Providence for that long, in between arrests and investigations).
Providence is one of my favorite little cities. Though having been to Bloomington Indiana (! Wow, those might be the only two places in the US with populations less than 2 million that I've been to), Providence is far more of a "small city", where as Bloomington is just a "college town". If you are wondering what the distinction is: The capital and government buildings in Providence, and the downtown mall with the theater. Also, the slummy east side.
Providence = Indianapolis minus football and the race track.
I am sadly to report that Mayor Buddy is no longer mayor...he is in fact in prison for something....this is true about the small city, however, the east side has a similar feel to bloomington...
I was going to do the shooter on one of the pit girls...but they all looked about 16 years old, and there were far too many police officers around....secondly, that girl in the penis outfit is actually a dude...
If you like the soapbax stuff Captain, you have to come into town for the Indiana University Little 500. It is like somebody gave permission to all the freshmen girls to take their clothes off and decided to have a bike race on that day. Oh, and it is the most alcoholic weekend In America. The town was set on fire once, it is that f-ing serious.